Foraging......

Of Mice and Ergonomics

2011-04-01T03:51:00.000-07:00

I think this is worth a read.

(http://stackoverflow.com/questions/96944/what-is-the-best-keyboard-mouse-for-ergonomics-or-to-prevent-wrist-pain)

"I went way beyond the wrist pain and deep into the territory of surgery, disability, half a year of near-total inability to use a computer, and am finally back to what most people would call a 'normal' life.

I work for a games company and am at my desk about 50 hours per week. On top of that, I spend another 20-25 per week on a computer at home. Add in some Playstation time, some XBox time, and a smattering of a musical instrument... and it's amazing that I am back to nearly 100%. How do you go from useless to lead programmer in a year or so?

You asked about equipment, so I'll get to that, but dropping bucks on hardware won't make it all go away. When my surgeon told me to get away from the computer 4-8 times per day for 3-5 minutes of circulation-restoring activity. Well, I took up juggling, but 1) you may not take to my brand of physical therapy and 2) your company may not either.

Get some exercise. Seriously.

NOW I'll deal with equipment. What they say about the ergo layout of your desk is subject to the 80/20 rule, just like everything else. You get 80 percent of the benefit from 20 percent of the layout. The placement of your hands is the big one. I still slouch, I sit on my feet, and my keyboard is up on the desk, but I'm still getting most of the benefit for the least discomfort.

The really important bits - get a keyboard that straightens your wrists AND doesn't force you to tension your tendons to elevate your fingers. That right there means a contoured keyboard. I love both the kinesis and the maltron, but the kinesis' function keys drive me crazy. Since I have the keyboard on the desk, I prop its rear up about an inch so my wrists are straight. I also use an evoluent mouse, and thatreally helps when I am spending an hour or two... or ten... mousing.

Your hands are your future in this business, so don't *#(@ around. Get your layout set up so that you're comfortable and take some time off - away from the computer, the texting, the game controller, the DS, and everything else that makes your fingertips tingle, and get on the ibuprofen for a while. During this time, see a professional and insist upon getting an EMG. My hands hurt like hell, but I never thought it was that bad until I found that my nerves weren't working the way they should.

Oh, and make sure that you opted in for the full disability benefits plan at your company. Best decision I ever made. Well, I also switched to Dvorak, but you may not be that crazy."

HELLFEST 2011!

2011-03-27T03:11:00.001-07:00

Unbelievable!

An alternate perspective

2011-03-25T09:57:00.001-07:00

(http://fullerdomehome.org/images/map6.jpg)

Time to get serious: Stage 5 - the return

2011-03-20T15:04:00.000-07:00

Yet again, we could feel the pull of the

A N O T H E R D I M E N S I O N

waning. But, after some pleading with the owners of

A N O T H E R D I M E N S I O N….

(http://www.backtotheeighties.net/images/billandted460.jpg)

…it would take us further yet.

They exclaimed “WOAH! EXCELLENT!” and said we could swing past Le Corbusier’s apartments on the way home.

...and someone else's intriguing architecture....

Time to get serious: Stage 4

2011-03-20T14:55:00.000-07:00

Yet again, we could feel the pull of the

A N O T H E R D I M E N S I O N

waning. But it would take us further yet. Out of Britagne and south into the Atlantique Coast.

Like the soft rays of afternoon sun through stained glass, we descended into Clisson.

And laid claim to the land with a ceremonial dance, performed here by our Polish comrade.

Then we checked out this fair dinkum castle. Circa 700AD.

Time to get serious: Stage 3

2011-03-15T04:03:00.000-07:00

We could feel the pull of the A N O T H E R D I M E N S I O N waning. But it would take us further yet. Into the heart of Britagne! To Rennes.

At this point it was time for a cappuccino – Rennes style. Hold the milk thanks, I'll just have cream.

NEWS BULLETIN!!

2011-03-14T16:31:00.000-07:00

This news just in!!! Incredible! Rat & Ducks!

Time to get serious: Stage 2

2011-03-13T10:41:00.000-07:00

Through the Another Dimension we tumbled….. to Mont Saint Michel – a voluminous abbey built atop an earthen outcrop in the mudflats on the northern coast of France. The daily high tide effortlessly wraps its molten arms around the outcrop, protecting it and its occupants from advancing hordes.

Building commenced around 700AD.

It was once used as a prison.

If the bitter cold water doesn’t scare you, the biting north wind will.

The people of the Middle Ages regarded Mont Saint Michel as an “image of paradise”. My impression was this: if Mont Saint Michel were to be represented by a pillow, it would be a very beautiful pillow….made of the hardest, coldest stone-ice-hybrid rock. I guess that suggests how tough life in the middle ages was.

Time to get serious: Stage 1

2011-03-10T11:09:00.000-08:00

Enough nonsense. That last post was sub-standard. It’s time to pull out some REAL.

This calls for extreme measures. This calls for travel to…..

A N O T H E R D I M E N S I O N

Luckily on a day trip to the village of Clisson recently, my exploration party discovered the portal to another dimension.

This…….

….was not it. In fact nobody knows what this is. Not even the guy who made it. We did however come across this strange triangular artefact.....

I thought perhaps we’d wandered onto the set of Beastmaster.

(http://www.orgonebox.org/allegoric/wp-content/gallery/goddard_daniel/beastmaster_ep204/beastmaster_ep204_027.JPG)

And we could well have been! For when we walked through the guts of this portal……

....we were transported to.....

A N O T H E R D I M E N S I O N!!!!!

Inside of it we appeared to be inside the history of Bretagne (aka Britanny).

Jardin des Plantes

2011-03-10T11:01:00.000-08:00

The Garden of Plants

Of course there may be other kinds of gardens but I don’t believe such gardens are sufficiently common to cause confusion and thus warrant naming gardens distinctly according to their type. I’ve never seen a signed Garden of Rocks or Garden of Plastic Figurines. I am aware of The Garden of The Gods in Colorado, but this title refers to more of a ‘region’, than a specifically demarcated and subsequently tended-to site, so it is disqualified from comparison. Note we’re not talking about Jardin Botanique (botanical gardens) here. Just your average garden of plants.

Another peculiar aspect of this Jardin des Plantes involves me almost getting arrested for taking this photo.

I was standing on the grass, which apparently is a big no no. Perhaps this is what distinguishes Jardin des Plantes from Jardin Botanique. Perhaps the luxury of grass is reserved for the rats, which inhabit the local waters. These critters put The Colossus to shame and would have no trouble eating a duck, whole. Strangely, they seem to prefer the texture of a soggy baguette.

(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_LNVmkVvPyZ8/TJBoLtbrqhI/AAAAAAAAAPo/k4pWjGKJXtE/s1600/Colossus+of+Rhodes+reconstruction+(Sidney+Barclay,+c.+1875),+constructed+c.+294-282+BC.jpg)

The rats’ thoughtful contribution to biodiversity is evident as one casts their eyes across the pond in the Jardin des Plantes.

28 January 1972

2011-03-03T14:50:00.001-08:00

Cathédrale Saint-Pierre-et-Saint-Paul de Nantes is engulfed by a gigantic fire.

At this point God looked around the place, expecting his minions to be hurrying themselves in fire extinguishing activities. But they weren’t. With raised eyebrows he drew his God Sword and prepared to dish out some wrath.

GS: "zzziiiinnggg"

He found the then in-training Minister of Ceremonies (MC) Pacobel esquire asleep by the seaside.

MCP: " "

God then summoned the Angel-Boy Julius for an explanation.

AB-J: “Uh… I’m kind of busy looking at this rose. Shouldn’t Jesus be organising the show on the ground? I mean that’s what you beamed him down to earth for isn’t it?”

God then summoned the Role Caller to assist in locating his son, Jesus.

RC: "Look man… I dunno man. Can’t see him on the roll call…uhhhh .. uh huh ...looks like he’s missed church 5 times this week. Oop. Make that six. Six times. Yessir."

Enraged God used his Omni-Vision ® to scour the earth in search of his wayward offspring.

And there! There he was. Sleeping! Boy was he gonna cop it.

103m long x 38.5m wide x 63m tall

Construction began – 1434

Construction took – 457 years

Tales of Adventure!

2011-03-03T14:29:00.000-08:00

CT: “Hey juvenile Jules (Verne), what do you think Captain Nemo is looking for?

Juvi JV: “Hey man. I dunno….. ….wait… are you….. copying me?”

CT: “Hey man. I dunno…. wait.. are you….. copying me?”

CN: “hmmmmm…… I’ve scoured the seven seas.. in my incredible mechanical tub. See here the engine room of the Nautilus! Powered me and my crew over 20,000 leagues it has! In search of my favourite...."

CN: ".... MACAROONS!"

Discipline

2011-02-27T14:34:00.000-08:00

This interesting little tug is tied up to the black gravel-surfaced quayside on the northern banks of the Loire River.

the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behaviour..... using an array of large missiles if need be

I remember when we used to use sunshine, rainbows and warm fuzzies.

Stepping back a couple of days….. 22:15hrs

2011-02-27T14:31:00.000-08:00

(http://www.joeydevilla.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/the_accordion_gets_you_chicks.jpg)

Blaaaaarrrrrrggghhh!

2011-02-25T04:19:00.000-08:00

Bienvenue à votre nouvelle vie!

2011-02-25T04:11:00.000-08:00

Welcome to your new life!

Combination bedroom, bathroom, desk and pseudo kitchenette.

View from bedroom window. I paid extra for this.

Pictures from a stroll along the river into town, about 45mins.

At first, Nantes town itself felt like a ghost town. The grey overcast sky carefully dropped a little rain on the already cold stone and concrete architecture. The few incisions of faded colour from shop signs; a Chinese restaurant, asian supermarket and French baker.

Somehow Jonny Cash’s ‘Hurt’ seems to make a suitable soundtrack, but I decide to flick the ipod onto a bit of INXS. The adventure has begun.

Saying G'day to Jules Verne

2011-02-14T10:13:00.000-08:00

Perhaps it would kind of tie things together if I said I am studying Industrial Design and have just arrived in France for a semester of exchange studies in the picturesque town of Nantes.

Nantes appealed to me because it is a smallish town (~300k), an opportunity to learn one of the most widely spoken languages in the world and the course of study here looked pretty good. It's also the home of Jules Verne, although he doesn't live here any more.

J'arrive a Charles De Gaulle airport, apres je vais a Nantes en TGV.

(http://www.lemonamiga.com/games/screenshots/full/flashback_08.png)

Un cafe au lait s'il vous plait.

5-step reflection

2011-02-13T00:30:00.000-08:00

2009: Petroleum Drilling Engineer/ Night Well-Site Manager. Started with lunchtime. A plate of food in front of me and, if I remember correctly, a young middle-aged French-born American with a fondness for cheese sitting across the white-plastic veneered chipboard galley table.

I imagine, being 00:00hrs on the 1st January, that I would have treated myself to a shot of percolated coffee drizzled over a couple of scoops of vanilla ice-cream. Topped-up with milk, in a tall waxed-paper take-away cup. One with the blue and red triangle motif on the side. Actually I wouldn't call it a motif; it's more of a 'splash' of triangles, like they were just thrown on. But they weren't, cos they were printed on.

6 months later, June 2009: Unemployed, embarking on a career change, after a quick motorbike trip around Western Australia and Northern Territory. I was sitting on my swag in the sandy bed of one of the world's oldest rivers. Watching flames of the fire lick the chill out of the air. The white veil of moonlight descended quickly down the western face of the gorge. The somewhat eerie howls of a pack of dingoes washed over our ears. Louis and I decided to call it a night and jump into the swags before we got mauled and eaten. We had a few hundred kilometers tough riding the next day and, with all the slow-going deep sand, we weren't sure we had enough fuel to get us to Kings Canyon.

A year later, May 30th 2010: Finishing 1st year Bachelor Industrial Design in Melbourne. I've had a grand total of 8 hours sleep in the last five days and my body is trying to shut down. I've been encountering microsleep on an increasingly regular basis. I decide to take a 20 minute powernap every 4 hours. Robbing me of sleep is the need to assemble a portfolio of the semester's work to meet the encroaching deadline, including research and development work, a couple of A0 technical drawings, presentation boards, a 5 minute speech and a 1:10 scale white-model. It took me 12 hours alone to sew four lycra awning sections onto the wire/copper frame. You could say I bit off more than I could chew. But I chewed it.

8 months later, February 8th 2011 (2 years after lunch with the French-born American): Our herd got off the plane and busily marched through, down, in and around the cavernous maze of escalators, travelators, underground monorail and terminal halls that give space to Incheon Airport, Korea. The polished stone veneer brings the place to light, but not to life. Apart from our herd there was no one else around. It reminded me of a scene from Brazil.

(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_QMuDihPPyPA/TThA37HZCsI/AAAAAAAAQCM/e_YnJP4d4VM/s1600/brazil01.jpg)

12 hours later, February 9th 2011: It's 0630hrs and I've got a thirst that could drain the Pacific. The only thing in the mini-bar other than Korean beer was Korean Pocari Sweat. I’m not sure if a Pocari is an animal or a humanoid. Anyway not sure why you'd need that here though - it's minus 2 degrees outside. Not only can you see your breath, it'll slap you in the face and tell you to go back inside.

Maybe this guy is a Pocari. I seem to remember him being much cooler than this.

(http://f00.inventorspot.com/images/August%205th%20-%20Olympic%20Mascots6.jpg)

I had spent the previous day stretching my legs and enjoying the primo service on Korean Air. Nice to sit next to a lovely young Korean bloke, who was studying in Melbourne. He also busks at Caulfield station.

Disappointed, but not bothered, that instead of stopping-over in Seoul (which is about an hour from Incheon airport) we were transferred to Hyatt Incheon for the night. The hotel itself is great, very new, but it is a droplet of glistening water, resting on a dead leaf.

The view from my Hyatt Incheon room.

‘Cromagnon Man’ by Nam June, Paik 1994 (depicting the cultural progress of man, although I didn’t see a depiction of a Star Destroyer anywhere) 241x198x51cm. Hyatt Incheon Foyer.

Who am I?

2011-02-13T00:21:00.000-08:00

Words are given meaning, identities, by, for and amongst those who use them... for what purpose they agree is appropriate and rational. When you take an English word and put it in a conversation in Siberia, what does it mean? Does it lose its identity?

In a more familiar way perhaps…… If a tree falls in the woods and there's no one around to hear it, does it make a sound?

(http://i.ytimg.com/vi/acGHA5ECzaw/0.jpg)

11,000m 879km/hr

2011-02-11T09:05:00.001-08:00

I recall a scene in a frosty laboratory. My off-white, ruled, moleskine notebook bathes in a cool blue glow emitted by the retractable remote control in my back-of-headrest in-flight entertainment unit. The blue is a softly spoken foreigner in an otherwise dark world.

(http://starsmedia.ign.com/stars/image/article/842/842067/hannibal-chew-picture-001_1197966962.jpg)

Lightroom

2008-10-24T08:19:00.000-07:00

Adobe - Genius!

The Wrap up: Gibb River Road Mountain Bike Challenge 08

2008-06-13T21:04:00.000-07:00

Any way you want it! That's the way you need it!
-----------
What follows is the true story of a team of 5 unlikely heros who shared a common interest to put something back into Western Australian society. Ordinarily these 5 people live out their lives ordinarily, as Rosie, Alex, Stu, Sam and Carl. But together they are no ordinary 5 - with their powers combined they are The Super Action Future Power.

The Gibb River Road Mountain Bike Challenge is a charity cycling event organised by WA Police Legacy. The event runs over 5 days and involves cycling from Derby to Kunnunurra in WA's rugged Kimberley region. That's approximately 90km bitumen, 570km gravel/sand/corrugations/mountain ranges and finishing off with 50km bitumen (710km total).

Three crazy guys decided to do it solo in 2008. There were 38 teams ranging in size from solo riders up to 6 or more alternating riders per team. Using special 'super powers' the SAFP were able to calculate that 4 riders would have to ride a mere 35kms per day each in order to complete the event. This figure was entered into the SAFP Super Training Regime Calculation Worksheet (STRCW) with the following output: "No training required". In hindsight it was clear this complex calculation contained an error.

Onward Ho
------------
So the SAFP laid logistical plans to emerge from their hideouts and converge on the Kimberley, ready for the starting gun on the 12th May. Secret hideout locations: Alex & Carl (Perth), Stu (Darwin), Ro & Sam (Broome).

Alex & Carl decided driving up and back (a lazy 7000kms round trip) would be cheaper than flying. And it would've been except for the $9 pack of cards purchased at Kumarina roadhouse. The trip up was full of excitement and anticipation, largely owing to driving 1000km/day, camping on the roadside, gooey roadkill, vegemite on toast and the inspirational voice of Tony Robbins.

Caught up with a few characters in Broome, undertook some last minute fine tuning of bikes.......

..... and we were off! Pushing along at about 20km/hr... ... .... .. .

The pictures don't really do it justice. It was a 5 day bike ride
- dusty, corrugated, gravelly, water crossings, sandy - finding a good bit of road was always difficult

- nuts, water and mountain bread

- We looked bloody awesome in the S-A-F-P capes (it was worth the extra wind drag), tassels and spokey dokes

- 2 cars: Rosie drove support vehicle (thank christ for Rosie!) and we rotated riders through the Subaru in which Journey's "Anyway you want it" played on repeat for 5 days. Apparently "that's the way you need it".

Some notable notes:
- Stu: getting over excited and stacking it on the bitumen, 20 minutes into his first ride

- Sam: top speed 74km/hr on a long downhill

- Ro: taking one for the team and jumping on the bike (despite her abhoration of cycling). Being our mother for a week!
- Alex: riding off without a helmet on many occasions on an event run by the police, and upstaging the Kimberley's finest acoustic entertainer at El Questro with some spontaneous syncopation from the spoons

- Carl: going slow enough uphill to hear the spokey dokes
- the Subaru: awarded "most ambitious car on the event"
- We came in 10th place of 38 teams!! (but "it isn't a race" of course)
- Training (and milk) is for babies. Real heros drink Emu Export.

What the images don't show is the incredible organisation by Simon Rimmer and Police Legacy. They rallied, supported and fed around 240 people (riders and supporters) during the week.

So we cleaned out the cars, wiped the dust off our weary bodies, finished off the powerade, drained the transmission oil and filled the engine oil in preparation for a night at the Kimberley Moon Festival rockin to the tunes of the many great bands including Jimmy Barnes!

Remember, it was a charity event and the SAFP raised just over $2000 all of which we're giving to WA Police Legacy and Wunan Foundation.

Thanks heaps Laurie, Megs, Cat and Amanda for shelter in Broome, Kunnunurra and Port Headland. Thanks also to Glen Parker Cycles on Stirling Hwy Perth for helping us out and all of you who contributed to the $2k. If you feel like "unleashing the giant within" (thanks Tony), give it a go next year!

thegibbchallenge.net.au
policelegacywa.org.au
wunan.org.au
glenparker.com
tonyrobbins.com

Gibb Challenge

2008-03-01T05:28:00.000-08:00

Click to Enlarge!

"Game Over Man! Game Over!"

2007-09-30T07:03:00.000-07:00

...as Bill Paxton once said.
That's it. Thanks for coming.

Good Times at the Weisn

2007-09-30T06:27:00.000-07:00

Oktoberfest hits pretty hard. Soon enough the jetlag has turned to fatigue and you feel like you've swallowed an ashtray.

Getting right into the spirit of things involves half chickens, head size pretzels, roast pork knuclkes, cigars, snuff (the white stuff), tobacco snuff (the 'real' snuff) and of course 'mass' (a 'measure'/ litre of bier).

It can be challenging juggling the consumption of all these goods while standing precariously on a thin wooden bench singing and dancing to folk & popular songs in the 10,000 strong bier halls of the Weisn. Weisn refers to the daughter of the King who got married here. He invited the whole of Munchen and this was the start of Oktoberfest. What a champ.

The legal bier drinking age in Germany is 16, and these guys were well aware of that.
I didn't mention the 1/2 meter Wurst, cos you get that outside the tents, in a 25cm bun. Pictured below are the Sluthe and I, enjoying the sights and sounds of the huge Oktoberfest showground while cradling a good portion of pork sausage.
(Pat, Jaime)

There is much excitement amongst the troops at the generous servings of consumables.
One of these will set you back btwn 8 & 10 Euro, depending on if you get your change or not. ($16)

Two locals named Frame and Colons. They travelled long way from their nanny goat farm in the mountains to be here.

(Kaisa - charmer)

Pat D (excited, before he lost his wallet), JW and me

Impressive and scary appearances sometimes deceive. The "Shocker" was shocking.

Heaps more photos of course - if you want any, ask.

MÜñchëÑ - City of People

2007-09-30T06:10:00.000-07:00

Munich, the Captal of Bavaria, is a wonderous collage of gardens, old grand stone buildings (also 'heavy'), bicylcles and gorgeous blue skies.

In contrast to the town, and Germany, of today is Dachau - the first Nazi concentration camp, built in 1933. It was a cold drizzling day we chose to wander the Role Call Yard. The wind turned the cold to ice and it was impossible to imagine, comprehend or even believe what went on here not so long ago. Very overcrowded living, torture, medical experiements, killings.

Mel, Kel and Jimmy Barnes (living in Munchen who was good enough to host us for a few evenings. And a great host he was too.) Mel and Kel wear traditional Derndals and Jim wears the Lederhosen. To the Weisn! (Oktoberfest!).

Singapore

2007-09-30T05:49:00.000-07:00

There are some very H E A V Y looking buildings, like this one.

Goodbye Vietnam

2007-09-21T00:53:00.001-07:00

(Dai, Me, Martin - Moto Taxi)

Screaming for Vengeance

Easy Rider IV - The wheels fall off

2007-09-21T00:24:00.001-07:00

This would be the last day on the bike, although we did not know it yet.
I'd been keeping an eye on the front whel nut which was castellated and had provision for a split pin, although no split pin was in place.

We gorged on prawn sushimi that night, with extreme wasabi and soy. Then we strolled into the Louisiana bar - a classy bar/brewery serving gourmet beer. Mossying across the marble floor we noticed a clean blue lit pool in the middle of the beer garden. Beer was four times the usual price (ie $4) at this establishment and it went down almost as easily as the pool balls were.
Bao & I engaged in a nailbiting battle on the green felt. The stakes were high - winner buys the beer, loser meets a watery grave.

Bao is an Easy Rider - jack of all trades and he's obviously spent many years studying 'The Colour of Money'. Luckily I had brought my A game and was demonstrating a Walter Lindrumesq understanding of geometry.

Bao took the 1st game by a whisker but I didn't let him have the second. So our fates rested on the last game.

I cleverly potted 3 balls off the break and maintained the solid lead on bigs until I was eyeing the black. I lined up the white between the 8 and my freshly chalked cue tip. Mildly inebriated and overly confident I decided to introduce Bao to the game of 'Arrogance' - where you look at your opponent while you knock the black into the corner pocket.

As soon as the white ball had been dusted my eyes panned left to see the black rebounding off the cushion away from the pocket. A scream of embarresment later and it was Bao's turn. He nailed 3 smalls in 3 strokes of the cue. And it was over....the black was being cradled by a net of white rope, out of view.

I endeavour to uphold my word whenever possible and I would honour the bet. Without hesitation I slipped of the shirt, dropped the dacks and descended the few steps past tables of honeymooning couples and launched my b'day suited body into the pool.

Before the splash had come down the pool was surrounded by security. A pretty young waitress leaned over the pool edge and advised that the pool was closed. A young gentlemen at a nearby table lent me a napkin and I made a graceful exit from the water, concealing my boiled shrew with said napkin, exited the bar.

Like a Ted Nugent concert the night was going Gonzo but it didn't end there. It ended half way through the second 'bucket' at a bar down the road, where it turns out Bao lost his wallet, licences etc and phone.

Easy Rider III - The King & I

2007-09-21T00:10:00.000-07:00

So we continued to ride through the Central Highlands past pepper, corn, coffee, casava and sugarcane fields. Every 5 mins I saw a white light as we narrowly missed an oncoming bus or overtook a van that was simultaneously overtaking a truck.

I developed an exit strategy in case of collision - jump into the bush. There are these rows of little 40cm tall concrete pillars 150x150 on the roadside every now and then. If I jumped into one of those there'd be in a world of hurt.

Traded in the bad motorscooter for more traditional transportation at Lake Lac. As we plodded along I looked past the driver's body and couldn't help thinking the back of Babar's head looked like a massive set of nuts.
Visited the palace of the last King, Bao Dai, in Dalat. Inside is dated and opulent wih strong french influence and high ceilings. From the outside the palace looks like a NYC ghetto housing complex.

Took some time out to bathe in the King's mud bath in Nha Trang.

Easy Rider II - Foods

2007-09-20T23:58:00.000-07:00

Small stackable plastic chairs, chopticks, paper squares, chilli, soy, fish sauce, dogs running around, cats lying around, floor covered in food/paper etc. Floor may be tile, cement or dirt.

BBQ night. Wild boar, deer, goat, rabbit....
Baby porcupine washes down well with a cold Saigon beer. No seriously there are too many bones and spine follecules on the little bastards. It's not easy to eat.

This is what the back of a pig's head looks like.

So impressed with the array of foods that I offered to become the new face of 'Sugus! - fruit juice explosion'. It actually has all natural colour and flavour.

Easy Rider I - Uphill

2007-09-20T23:41:00.001-07:00

Was approached by a 41 yr old crraaaazzzy man, named Bao, in Danang (a major port for the American war effort). I agreed to accompany him pillion style over the hills and far away for a 9 day journey to Saigon.

So I said goodentark to Martin, and Bao and I departed Hoi An on his sparkly clean, well oiled moto. At first we ran to the hills but when the going got tough, the little 125cc machine struggled furiously. What got tough over the next week was my glutumous maximus.

We passed many ethnic minority villages, war memorials and roadside 'cafes'. Bao passed on a bit of historical trivia.
Most of their chips/snacks are seafood flavour.

(Rain drops fell on our helmets).
Children's new year in Nam. Don't be fooled by the costumes, they're only in it for the money. Like halloween I guess. I positioned 50k ($4) out of reach and the little rascals formed a human ladder to retrieve it.

Bring Your Daughter to the Slaughter

2007-09-16T19:20:00.000-07:00

'SOMEWHERE BACK IN TIME' World Tour 2008

Iron Maiden announce their most ambitious and extraordinary touring plans ever - and are very pleased to announce that this will include Australia for the first time in 15 years!

In an historic first, Iron Maiden, their 60-strong crew and support staff and over 12 tons of equipment will be travelling around the world en masse for the first leg of the tour in a specially commissioned and converted Astraeus Boeing 757 decorated with Maiden and Eddie designs! Vocalist Bruce Dickinson, who is a qualified Airline Captain flying for Astraeus Airlines, will pilot the plane on its epic mission, flying over 50,000 miles.

Historically, this will be Maiden's fourth Australian Tour having first toured in 1982 when 'The Number of the Beast' was Australia's number one album, then again in 1985 with the original 'Powerslave' show and most recently in 1992 with 'Fear of the Dark'. However a great deal has happened with the band since then, especially in recent years when ticket sales have continued to explode around the world as the band's loyal fan base continues to flourish.
With the ever increasing power of the internet the Maiden legend has fired the imagination of new young fans around the planet, and, although their audience spans two generations, it is now predominantly a young one, inspired by the massive legacy and influence of this unique band (and, of course, Eddie).

TOUR DATES:*

Monday 4 February - Burswood Dome, Perth

Wednesday 6 February - Rod Laver Arena, Melbourne

Saturday 9 February - Acer Arena, Sydney

Tuesday 12 February - Brisbane Entertainment Centre

Hell of a week

2007-09-09T07:31:00.000-07:00

Let me see... it's been a dramatic 2 weeks since i held aloft my magic sword and sung to the world from atop SEAsia's highest peak. What follows is an incredible abridged account of the last 23,040 minutes:

1. After a 5hr boat ride and 7hour bus ride up the coast of NW Borneo I was ecstatic to check into a grimy minus-3 star hotel room, in which there'd obviously been a recent flood. Two days later I climbed Mt Kinabalu.

2. Was very excited to land in *Hanoi* on Thursday two weeks ago and even more excited that the American- Keith, Englishman- Ant and I- the Jackal (met at the airport) survived the taxi to town through the chaos of motorbikes that swarm Vietnametian streets.

(Martin, Nick, Gin - Perth)

(Ha Long Bay - Nth Vietnam)
3. In a Junk, we cut through the film of diesel oil that shimmers on the green waters of Vietnam's #1 tourist destination - Ha Long Bay. Gin, Nick, Martin and I agreed on the picturesqueness of the limestone pinnacles rising out of the water. We enjoyed many G&Ts with John and Christine from the You Es A.

(Little plastic chairs spill out into the middle of an intersection. Slightly chilled beer quickly absorbs heat from the humid Hanoi air.)

4. The night life in Hanoi post midnight involves regularly being thrown into silent darkness as the publican flicks the power off on word that the cops are about to pass by. They pass, the power, tunes and good times come back......but like Chuck Norris the Publican waits.... his wiry finger poised for the next scare. Jenga is difficult to play in this environment.

(Jose, Rosa, Gin, Tonic, Keith, Martin & Chenae)

(This is the toilet door - actually no, its a photo of part of the toilet door.)

5. We were followed for two days by tribeswomen of the hills - relentlesly repeating the little english vocab they knew in hope that their handicrafts would be exchanged for $$money$$. The town and culture of Sapa is badly poisoned by hunger for tourist gold. Beautiful nonetheless. Caught the 8hr Night Train back to Hanoi - grog is cheap, ITunes speakers are loud, Pringles are still expensive.

6. A night in Hanoi without Aircon is like sleeping in a hot bath - its hot, and wet.

9. Went to see the preserved body of Ho Chi Minh.....on National Vietnam Day. It was a quick trip after we saw 1.2million Vietnemese in front of us in the line. So we went to the War Museum where they have several US planes, wreckage and bombs.

(Ho Chi Minh)

10. Martin and I tied our horses up and entered the Temple of DOOM (formerly the Temple of Literature). We ran into some old friends from the Galapogas who revealed to us the entire knowledge of Vietnam in ancient manuscripts carried on their backs.

(D&Ms with the Turtle in the heart of the Temple of Doom. The manuscript is so old it has turned to stone - petrified)

11. No wonder Spot couldn't find his mother.
12. Got to Hoi An and promptly measured up for a denim suit and shoes. Suave. When is the next ball?

13. Cham Island and China Beach are Bali 25 years ago. Unfortunately resorts are due to rise from the sand next year and the pristine beaches and lazy hammocks will become a bustling wasteland. With slender curved 3m long pale yellow 'branches' reaching out for you, the diving was eerie at 38m - especially when you realise you've only got 60bar left.

(Rock n Roll)
14. The liquid/noodle diet of $1 happy hour and oily Vietnemese cuisine is really starting to hit the spot. The addition of fresh chilly to everything only excacerbates the problem.

(This brand of water - Aquafina - has a proven gut disruption effect)

15. Martin and I hired a vehicle and driver and went in search of the ruins of the ancient lost city of Hue - Vietnam's capital until 1945 in fact. Brushing away the jungle at an undisclosable latitude we uncovered a pile of uncemented brickwork and broken porcelain. With a little imagination the little characters decorating the porcelain pieces danced and sung...... one of them winked at me, I swear. Scouts honour.

There were five portals at the grand gateway to the Citadel of Hue - 1 for the King etc, 2 for the people and 2 for the elephants. The best King had 504 concubines.

16. The land of Vietnam has been home to many people and many wars over the centuries. Chinese, Indian and French influences are apparent in the temples, writing and food. In fact it was a French missionary who kick started the Vietnamese written language.

More photos to come. Thanks for tuning in. Di Toi!

Where Squirrels Fear to Tread

2007-08-29T05:15:00.000-07:00

In significant detail - we returned from the longhouse, had dinner at Top Spot then I did end up catching a boat from Kuching to Sibu (5hrs), a bus to Miri (7hrs) and a plane to Kota Kinabalu (0.83hrs). It seems one man has not one destiny (see previous post).

And here begins the story proper of one man's pursuit..... of that which he was pursuing. Continue reading and you are likely to think of Jules Verne, and you'd be right to do so. But be not fooled - this adventurous, exploratory, dangerous journey into unknown mysterious lands is no fairytale. Against all odds there was one man who dared go where thousands had been before. In doing so he would see further and reach deeper into his soul than he had ever imagined.....

Allow me to introduce myself - I am Sir Col. Charles Charles Esq. Scientist, apothocast and explorer. As I sipped my tea and buttered scones one spring morning I realised these little dough dumplings did not satisfy the thirst for adventure that ran like poison in my veins. I had tried many unorthodox methods but my senses told me to stop. I could'nt stand on the beach anymore - the only cure was expedition.

I had in my time....

- dodged stampeding wilderbeast and brawling elephants in Africa,

- dipped and danced like a goanna with the Aborigine,

- ducked and crawled through the cavernous underbelly of Indonesia &

- dived to the colourful depths of the Great Barrier Reef.

Without a new expedition the poison would surely tear me apart - like swallowing a bag of needles and pins. Obviously it was time to dodge the yellow bellied black snake, pierce the clouds and climb to incredible height - to stand above the world, look down upon it and to call out "CALL ME KING OF THE MOUNTAIN".

I'd heard rumours of such a mountain on the mysterious, little explored, isle of Borneo. So I purchased and gathered the neccessary equipment and provisions and began the expedition.

~~~~~~~~\__^^__/~~~~~~~~ On first sight of the towering mountain I was confident it would drain much of the poison from my body, and probably also my soul. I felt the need to change the undergarment. The local guide (whose services I had employed to accompany me to the summit) let out a little whimper on realising what he had signed on for.

The guide, Joseph, told me the mountain was created by supreme dieties and dragons guarding treasure troves of pearl necklaces. So I named the mountain "Kinabalu", meaning 'spirit resting place'.

Using the sextant, aquired from Debbie's Porn Shoppe, I estimated the highest peak to be at 4095.2m. I named it Low Peak, giggling for quite some time at the irony. Furthermore I applied an accute knowledge of mathematics to identify 4 climatic zones through which we would climb en route to the summit: 1. rich lowland dipterocarp forest, 2. coniferous forest, 3. alpine meadow, 4. stunted summit zone.

After offering a few words of encouragement to Joseph, we took the first step towards Low Peark. We immediately commenced a steep ascent, cutting a path through the dipterocarp. Soon, by exactly 2081m we entered climatic zone #2 and were engulfed by the low lying clouds. Each of the coniferous moss covered tree trunks precipitated out of the fog as we approached........ then dissolved again as we passed.

The atmosphere was eerie...the forest mute..but we were not alone - pitcher plants of the largest size and varying variety hung silently, poised to leach life from the next inquisitive victim. Passive predators. Moisture coalesced on the yellow, white and pink petals of 1200 species of orchids, smattering the forest's limbs. And impressive boquets of rhododendron appeared infrequently.

(Joseph - Sabah)

The long hand of the pocket watch had completed two revolutions and we had stepped a mere 4kms (as measured on the Durawheel, pictured). The pressure differential across my atuned ear drums indicated we were at 2741m elevation. The tall foliage was beggining to thin. Small shrubs characteristic of the alpine meadow climatic zone abounded. Pretty toenail sized flowers bloomed from many branches.

Black eyed wrens and Grey Drongos danced silently in the sparse short bonsaique trees. The cloud had blown by momentarily and I remarked to Joseph "I can see clearly now". After catching his breath he proposed it would be a bright bright sun shiny day for our reaching the summit.

We pushed on past 2900m....30000m.............3068m........................... .... . ..3069m.. The thin air is taxing but it is also an incredible voyage for the thig and calf muscles, with not one step being at the same elveation as the last - the only way is up, baby. The effect of the altitude on Joseph was a concern. At one stage we saw a rainbow coming out of the clouds at the end of which he professed to see a pot of gold! I had to slap him on the cheek a few times before he agreed that, rather than gold, it was actually just some silly looking, unusually caring, bears with various pictures embroided on their stomachs.

Something darted across the track in front of us! We both froze. What dangerous beasts lurked in the dense undergrowth? Hearing a scampering to the right we turned to see a small hutch of squirrels playing and foraging in a twisted system of roots. It was likely that this twisted system of roots was central to their species' survival - we encountered many score more as further we climbed.

Two more revolutions of the time piece and we were at 3300m. Joseph's incapacity to carry on safely was unquestionable. I decided we would rest the afternnoon and night to allow him to recuperate and aclimatise. Reclining high on the mountain we admired the view down the steep bushy valley we had just come up.

Above we could see the vegetation end sharply and above that a granite wasteland leading to a couple of peaks - the highest being our destination - Low Peak. As the sun's rays dimmed I questioned a look of fear on Joseph's face - "Do you have a Fear of the Dark?" His reply was short but clear. "He who upsets spirits of ancestors will die by dragon's breath*". He continued to explain that a gift to the spirits was required for safe passage. A sacrifice was reccomended.

* Old jungle saying

It was a simple request to fulfill and would pass the afternoon. We ceremonially executed a squirrel using the sharpest blunt edge of the sextant (I had brought no cutting utensils). Joseph recited a traditional local prayer then I executed another nine (9) just to be sure. This site I named "Panar Laban" - meaning 'place of sacrifice' in the local dialect. After the busy afternoon we dozed to sleep.

We awoke under a full moon at 2:03am GMT. Howling in excitement we set off hoping to welcome the sun at the summit. Onwards the elevations are approximate as the sextant no longer functioned accurately. 3668m marked the edge of the vegetation and near 7kms of ascent. We were forced to scramble up and along steep faces of onion skin granite. Our heads popped up over above a crest at 3990m. Low Peak was in sight - 800m away through a smooth wide grey granite valley - like another world.

An icy wind ripped at our naked flesh as we arduosly staggered across the moonscape. Legs felt like wet tree trunks and our hearts pounded furiously like a 24cyl Diesel engine at extraordinary rpm. Joseph had to stop every 10 paces to avoid catastrophic internal combustion. I could hear his knees grinding with every purposeful step. He was in bad shape.

I offered continuos encouragement to boost his morale and help him in what was an epic mental battle. I relayed stories of my time in the Galapogos where i met an old wise tortoise who could spoke but 6 words to me - "slow and steady wins the race".

At last the tip of Low Peak was within reach. I summoned all the little energy and breath remaining and with great courage grabbed hold of Joseph's shoulder and pulled myself past that shell of a man to stand proudly aloft the Kinabalu Mountain! The sun rose in a curtain of spectacular rich orange. This was a great day. I Sir Col. Charles Charles Esq. had conquered. I looked down at the clouds, the ocean and the world and said 'hey Joseph, call me king of the mountain!"

A fresh wind blew past my lips, carrying my softly sung words down the mountain to all the lands, some near, some far far away......

So, so you think you can tell

Heaven from Hell, blue skies from pain.

Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?A smile from a veil?

Do you think you can tell?

And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?

Hot ashes for trees? Hot air for a cool breeze? Cold comfort for change?

And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?

How I wish, how I wish you were here.

We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,

Running over the same old ground.

What have you found? The same old fears.

Wish you were here.....

Excess

2007-08-29T04:49:00.000-07:00

(n, ek-ses):
1. a quantity much larger than is needed.
2. going beyond what is regarded as customary or proper.

It is rare to find a truly hot meal here on the sidewalks of Malaysia. Typically, cooked dishes (nasi goreng, satays, 'meat' etc) are served luke warm or stone cold - they could do with warming the plates. Or maybe fire is not as hot here in the tropics.

So I treated myself and it was nice to be nibbling on a hot meal after the gruelling Mt Kinabalu summit conquering bonanza (more on this to come). Such an expedition with great physical demands leaves a man feeling....hungry.

I must admit chewing on the last two slices it was getting hard to breath (not indifferent to being at altitude on the mountain), but I couldn't walk out of the restaurant in shame. So I chewed those last two pieces, with a smile on my dial, then washed it all down with the 2nd glass of Pepsi.

I chuckled to myself as I left - having just eaten my share, twice, for a mere $6.

Pizza Hut's answer to the McDemon Meal.

Top Spot

2007-08-26T23:24:00.000-07:00

This King Prawn threatened to chop me up. So we got him & two of his mates deep fried in Thai Style Sauce and ate 'em, shell and all.

Crunchy. Tasty.

(Farzana & Tingilao - Kiwi)

The Top Spot food hall sits atop a carpark in Kuching. It is a swarming massive feeding frenzy. There's no lack of fish and crustaceon including stingray, and several other protected species no doubt. (In Sarawak there are two levels of conservation - "Protected" and "Totally Protected". It can be confusing). Finished the meel with some Air Mata Kuching in the bottles behind - effectively watered down prune juice.

Rumah Panjang (Longhouse) II

2007-08-26T23:06:00.000-07:00

22 'doors' (families), 108 ppl, 1 jungle, 1 river = longhouse.
This is an Iban tribe longhouse, of the Dayak people of Borneo.

Each of the 22 sections has toilet/ washroom/ storage, fish pond, balcony, public area, family area, kitchen, laundry in that order of appearance.
Each family farms its own food etc.

The Chief is very friendly and welcoming, although he speaks little Malay or English. The tattoo on his neck signifies he has taken a head. I think he knows what's what.

Bau - Iban Chief, Tingilao - Kiwi

Our guide, Entalai showing us how to prepare lunch with natural plates, crockery and cutlery.
Making Trojans.
The kids come home from 'boarding school' for school holidays...and have to do homework on such topics as Robinson Crusoe and Phantom of the Opera. English, Science and Maths are taught in English. Kids can speak pretty good english, Malay and Iban. The oldies can speak Iban and a little Malay.

Rumah Panjang (Longhouse) I

2007-08-25T08:33:00.000-07:00

Aba (second from right- in disguise) drove us 4 hours to a river bank...
.. along the way I came across this toilet, complete with auto-enematic function...
We boarded a longboat and headed up river on THE best boat ride ever. The swift high water carried big logs and trees down its course. Our driver skillfully avoided these obstacles as well as many a whirl pool and rocky riverbank. The monsoon rain beat down upon us and the overhanging jungle grasped at our relatively little wooden boat as it powered up the trecherous churning highway.
At the Iban (tribe) Longhouse (one of the last all-wooden traditional longhouses in the area) we were greeted with a traditional dance.
...then partoked in traditional bamboo bongs.

Snakes and Ladders

2007-08-25T08:20:00.000-07:00

Into the Borneo Hills we puttered in a mini bus that reminded me of the "I think I can" train from kids' storybooks. True to the story - it could. So inspired on the way up by Malaysian covers of 80s soft rock songs we captured the moment... ...then got on with the job of paddling several hours down Sungai (river) Sarawak. Picturesque, relaxing and adventurous..Indiana Jones.....is a movie star. Our guide wore Diadora snap pants and unfortunately would not be competitive in a game of Trivial Pursuit: Malaysian Flora/Fauna edition. He was however successful in identifying the deadly Anti-Gravity snake, captured on film below.

Destiny

2007-08-21T08:22:00.000-07:00

all is well hoorah.
had two rounds of delicious Kway Teow this arvo for a ridiculously low $2. then had it all squeezed out of me by a blind man giving 1.5hrs thai massage. crazy hurt factor - shin bones were on the brink of sublimination due to excessive point loading. Cyril, my French accomplice, confessed to being close to crying - I concurred. Had to have another noodle dish after to recuperate. Been drinking plenty of Milo for strong bones - lucky.

tommorrow I'll discover my destiny - either in a longhouse for three days looking rather out of place, sans body modification jewelry.... or on a boat trip to Malaysia's equivalent of Tortega followed by a 5hr bus ride north to link up with a plane to Kota Kinabalu - Trains, Planes and Automobiles style except not cos John Candy couldn't make it - lucky cos I have no need for shower curtain rings.

Keep to the shadows.....

The Four Food Groups

2007-08-21T07:51:00.000-07:00

BBQ Corn w/ Salt and Milk Spray

(Igor - Slovenia)

Pygmy Banana

(Brahim - Holland)

Pork

(Babe - Malaysia)

Noodles

(Maggi - Maggi)

and if that's not enough there's more shops that are sure to satisfy...

Bako N.P. - East Malaysia

2007-08-21T07:35:00.000-07:00

Waiting for the wrong bus.
We were 20mins late for the correct bus but were still on time.
2nd bumpiest bitumen road in the world.

Short boat ride down river to Bako N.P. Home of unforgiving jungle, long nosed monkeys, tourists, mudskippers and ruthless carnivores (see image).

Sky blanketed with grey haze - farmers burning fields in Kalimantan.

Sweat like it's raining.

Changi

2007-08-18T19:45:00.000-07:00

According to Vincent Vega you can buy a beer at Maccas in Amsterdam. In Changi you have to settle for a massive cup of iced Milo.

Phantom comics, like the Ghost Who Walks himself, are illusive in these parts.

Sniffing around

2007-08-16T01:36:00.000-07:00

Just marking the territory with urine and faeces