Hell of a week

Let me see... it's been a dramatic 2 weeks since i held aloft my magic sword and sung to the world from atop SEAsia's highest peak. What follows is an incredible abridged account of the last 23,040 minutes:

1. After a 5hr boat ride and 7hour bus ride up the coast of NW Borneo I was ecstatic to check into a grimy minus-3 star hotel room, in which there'd obviously been a recent flood. Two days later I climbed Mt Kinabalu.

2. Was very excited to land in *Hanoi* on Thursday two weeks ago and even more excited that the American- Keith, Englishman- Ant and I- the Jackal (met at the airport) survived the taxi to town through the chaos of motorbikes that swarm Vietnametian streets.

(Martin, Nick, Gin - Perth)

(Ha Long Bay - Nth Vietnam)
3. In a Junk, we cut through the film of diesel oil that shimmers on the green waters of Vietnam's #1 tourist destination - Ha Long Bay. Gin, Nick, Martin and I agreed on the picturesqueness of the limestone pinnacles rising out of the water. We enjoyed many G&Ts with John and Christine from the You Es A.

(Little plastic chairs spill out into the middle of an intersection. Slightly chilled beer quickly absorbs heat from the humid Hanoi air.)

4. The night life in Hanoi post midnight involves regularly being thrown into silent darkness as the publican flicks the power off on word that the cops are about to pass by. They pass, the power, tunes and good times come back......but like Chuck Norris the Publican waits.... his wiry finger poised for the next scare. Jenga is difficult to play in this environment.

(Jose, Rosa, Gin, Tonic, Keith, Martin & Chenae)

(This is the toilet door - actually no, its a photo of part of the toilet door.)

5. We were followed for two days by tribeswomen of the hills - relentlesly repeating the little english vocab they knew in hope that their handicrafts would be exchanged for $$money$$. The town and culture of Sapa is badly poisoned by hunger for tourist gold. Beautiful nonetheless. Caught the 8hr Night Train back to Hanoi - grog is cheap, ITunes speakers are loud, Pringles are still expensive.

6. A night in Hanoi without Aircon is like sleeping in a hot bath - its hot, and wet.

9. Went to see the preserved body of Ho Chi Minh.....on National Vietnam Day. It was a quick trip after we saw 1.2million Vietnemese in front of us in the line. So we went to the War Museum where they have several US planes, wreckage and bombs.

(Ho Chi Minh)

10. Martin and I tied our horses up and entered the Temple of DOOM (formerly the Temple of Literature). We ran into some old friends from the Galapogas who revealed to us the entire knowledge of Vietnam in ancient manuscripts carried on their backs.

(D&Ms with the Turtle in the heart of the Temple of Doom. The manuscript is so old it has turned to stone - petrified)

11. No wonder Spot couldn't find his mother.
12. Got to Hoi An and promptly measured up for a denim suit and shoes. Suave. When is the next ball?

13. Cham Island and China Beach are Bali 25 years ago. Unfortunately resorts are due to rise from the sand next year and the pristine beaches and lazy hammocks will become a bustling wasteland. With slender curved 3m long pale yellow 'branches' reaching out for you, the diving was eerie at 38m - especially when you realise you've only got 60bar left.

(Rock n Roll)
14. The liquid/noodle diet of $1 happy hour and oily Vietnemese cuisine is really starting to hit the spot. The addition of fresh chilly to everything only excacerbates the problem.

(This brand of water - Aquafina - has a proven gut disruption effect)

15. Martin and I hired a vehicle and driver and went in search of the ruins of the ancient lost city of Hue - Vietnam's capital until 1945 in fact. Brushing away the jungle at an undisclosable latitude we uncovered a pile of uncemented brickwork and broken porcelain. With a little imagination the little characters decorating the porcelain pieces danced and sung...... one of them winked at me, I swear. Scouts honour.

There were five portals at the grand gateway to the Citadel of Hue - 1 for the King etc, 2 for the people and 2 for the elephants. The best King had 504 concubines.

16. The land of Vietnam has been home to many people and many wars over the centuries. Chinese, Indian and French influences are apparent in the temples, writing and food. In fact it was a French missionary who kick started the Vietnamese written language.

More photos to come. Thanks for tuning in. Di Toi!